A Question of Remembrance – 3 Months Hence

It’s been three months since the passing of my devoted friend and companion for over a decade, not just a pet, but a piece of my heart given the shape of a cat, a blue-point Himalayan female named Sammy.

Three months…and it still hurts just as much now as it did then when she went to sleep in my lap, the last thing she remembered being me.

This is a good thing, the pain is good.

And it’s something I hope never goes away, for it shows I still care.

It shows that unlike my online alter-ego and other characters I’ve imagined, I’m human, and being human is good.

Sure, the pain is still there, it never dulls, but it gets more bearable with time.

I’ve posted a couple of entries about her (Here) and (Here) before, but it’s like no time at all has passed between now and then.

I miss her.

At least she can’t miss me, that’s some comfort…

That, and the fact that she still lives…not in some imaginary afterlife in somebody’s mythological version of Heaven, not in some fairy-tale Paradise beyond the material world, but in the minds and hearts of those who knew her, who remember her, beautiful to the very end.

I wish that she would continue in some Other Realm, but I have no reason to believe in such a place, and I won’t confuse that wish, my hopes, with fact. I have no need to dress up Reality with anything supernatural, no need to supplement what is with what I want to be. That would be a fool’s errand, and I would rather stare the world in the face as it is than look at it with the rose-colored glasses of feckless naivete and delusion.

As long as one person on Earth remains alive to remember her, she will never die, and indeed has gained a sort of online immortality through this blog. I miss you Sammy, and I hope I never stop, for then it is I who am truly dead. Be forever.

And so do I ask my readers:

How you deal with the loss of a loved one, human or pet? How do you deal with death?


Goodbye, Little Sammy (Yes, Skeptics do Have Feelings…)

Sorry, guys, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll be posting this week except for prescheduled entries, including this one. If you see this, it is because I had to put one of my cats to sleep — a beautiful blue-point Himalayan cat of some 18 years named Sammy, who has been my devoted companion for over 12 years. The pictures accompanying this post are an homage to her. Goodbye old girl…your passing left a hole that will never be filled…

I’m Troythulu…online only.

Hey, all. I’ve gotten a few comments asking about my writing style on this blog, and to some I come off as a bit of an ass when responding to comments, other times I can be deferential to my correspondents. Both are true. Absolutely 100% true.

It depends on the initial posts of the commenter. I try to be as decent as I can, but I’m not Carl Sagan and don’t have nearly the patience that man had, and some people try mine to the utmost. On this blog, though, I’ll see to it that you get the respect you deserve…guaranteed.

I’m toning the snarkitude down a bit though, and some of you may have noted that sometimes I write as myself or as my Troythulu persona—it depends on what mood I’m in at the time of posting, but the Troythulu persona is strictly an online phenomenon.

No, I’m not cosmically (or comically) evil in person…

It’s a way of allowing myself to live two separate lives, online and personal, and nary the two should meet…if my Troythuluness has any say in the matter, that is. Fnord.